Display

I am sitting in my house. Today I was lent "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by a friend. Naturally, I began to watch the movie. After enjoying my Great Value brand ice cream cone with chocolate icing and nuts while drinking my Rockbridge younglife CAMP plastic cup filled to the brim with orange juice, I applied as much of my attention as possible to the film. At exactly twenty-three minutes and fifty-nine seconds into the movie, I paused it. Something struck me.

Throughout the short period of time that had lapsed, I noticed several situations within the plot and dialogue that did not seem to be true to reality. Whether it be awkward phrasing or forced atmosphere, something seemed off about the social texture of the environment.

However, about one score and three minutes past the title screen, something changed in my perspective. The main character, Charlie, mentioned his best friend, whose name has evaded my memory. Hermione Granger questioned him as to the whereabouts of his friend. Charlie then responded solemnly, while somehow remaining complacent, that his friend had committed suicide that May.

It is hard for me to understand emotion, so seeing it in other people speaks to me immensely. Music, poetry, movies, spoken word. They all reveal so much more than I can comprehend on my own. When this scene traveled through my sense, it connected my thoughts in a way that is common, but not as much as I would like.

It attached the logic and analyzation skills I possess with the mental stability and emotion I often lack.

I realized in this moment the difference between movies and reality. In the day to day habits of the average man (based off of the standard of Isaac Cramer), we find it difficult to express ourselves to our full extent. There are few that we trust, and even fewer that we trust with out feelings. Thus, it is quite seldom that raw instances, such as the one previously mentioned from the film, occur.

The opposite is true in movies, at least ones of this nature. The characters in the film are so expressive, so open, so vibrant, that having their behavior be less than corny is nearly impossible. There simply cannot be such a powerful and pure representation of the natural state of the human mind without error in the presentation of.

Note: These are my musings and are subject to change whenever I please. Also, I am aware that I am very liberal with the comma.

Decisions

I have recently attended what is known as a "burn." This is a function at the Bridge Christian Fellowship that emphasizes prayer. However,  this prayer is not based upon talking to God, but listening to God. And so, within those three hours of searching for the voice of the Lord, I found it. I received the message, among others, that I was to be more open.

As an INTP, it is often very difficult to reveal myself to others. I cringe at the mere idea of sharing my emotions or thoughts. What is even worse is that I find myself all the more hesitant to share these ideas with those close to me. It is as if I am inclined to share with those I do not know rather than my friends or family simply because I know I will not have to maintain the state that I am expressing within that vulnerability.

So, with my mission to share my intellectual and emotional innards, I came to the conclusion that I had no idea how to do that.

With an open mind and a lack of knowledge, I arrived at the idea of creating a blog as a habitual outlet for my cranial workings. I religiously read a few of my friends' blogs and they seem to find freedom within the captivity of four walls of an imaginary internet page.

So here I am, writing my short story of the child-sized journey that led me here at this moment. For future reference, my posts will be at least weekly, if not increasingly often.

Peace. Love. Purity.
Isaac.